Slow down, you’re going too fast



If, as the old Simon and Garfunkel song suggests, I could really make the morning last, I would probably feel better about my time management, but alas, I’m a little behind the eight this month. After more than a year of making time to smell the roses, everyone and her brother (as Barbara Fox would say) are having a party of one kind or another, some simultaneously.

I understand. We’ve all been locked up for far too long and with the restrictions lifted people want to go out, enjoy the good weather (good luck with that) and literally make hay while the sun is shining, but does it all have to happen at the same time? ? This week alone, I have no less than six events on my calendar, and they’re all crammed into four days.

On Thursday, Dharma the Wonder Dog will visit the children at Delaware Youth Center in Callicoon, NY, and Yours truly was compelled to lead her there, mainly because she doesn’t have opposable thumbs. If she did, she could write this column herself and I would be out of work.

Later that same day I have a reservation to see “Beehive – The Sixties Musical” at (you guessed it) the Forestburgh Playhouse, followed by my own appearance on Friday July 23 at the Upfront Exhibition Space in Port Jervis. , NY where I have I will treat people to stories about my career, no doubt filled with lesser known facts about my equally turbulent and colorful past.

The show is titled “Out, Loud and Proud” and is a fundraiser designed to benefit Triversity, the Pride Center, a non-profit organization dedicated to its mission of “providing a safe space for the community of pride living and visiting the tri-state area. I’m not sure how safe everyone will feel once I’m on stage, but it’s for a good cause and there are still a few tickets left, so book your seats now, if you’re not already. booked for seven different places on the same night. Sigh.

Then, on Saturday July 24, other worlds collide as the annual Callicoon Country Fair gears up for what promises to be a great time for the whole family. The event poster promises “food, games, prizes, crafts and entertainment,” but I can only be in one place at a time, so someone else from the River Award-winning reporter will be outside taking endless photos (sorry, Annemarie!) Explaining to the masses why my adorable dog isn’t there.

Instead, we’ll be across the county for another city-wide celebration called ‘Yes, Yes, Yes Hurleyville Pride’ sponsored by the House of Yes and the Hurleyville Performing Arts Center in (duh ) Hurleyville, NY. Described as “a party and carnival celebrating the love, self-expression and magic of summer in the Catskills”, the event will feature live music, “cool, daytime rhythms”, ( I will be the judge) vendors, circus shows (circus shows?) and a “surprise parade”.

While I wonder how much of a surprise it could be if they are already spreading the fuse, I searched House of Yes on Google and learned that it is a ‘creative collective and a Brooklyn, NY-based theater-infused nightclub, ”which has become a“ destination for creative culture and outrageous dance parties since opening its Bushwick location in 2015 ”.

It was named “The World’s Second Best Thing To Do” (wow, man) by Time Out New York, which makes me wonder what number one is and why I was unaware of their existence until now. For once, my questionable clown outfit will probably go unnoticed, and the event is free but you can register online.

( to let HPAC and the House of Yes know that you are on board for a “creative experience that defies categorization and transcends gender”.

Saturday’s Callicoon Country Fair is from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Hurleyville Pride from 2 to 7 p.m., so why not make it a day? For those of you who are more energetic than I am, both are doable, IMHO.

But wait, there is more! No summer in the Catskills would be complete without the 31st Annual Delaware Valley Arts Alliance (DVAA) Riverfest in Narrowsburg, NY, and it’s happening (uh huh) this weekend, Sunday, July 25 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. . To be honest, no number of conflicting schedules could take me away from Riverfest, which has become synonymous with celebrating all the Upper Delaware River region has to offer, including fantastic live music (Slam Allen will be there!), the ever-popular “River Dogs on Parade”, the ubiquitous stilt walkers of the Farm Arts Collective and the “centerpiece of the day’s events”, the Riverfest poster auction, which features incredible posters of one-of-a-kind collection created by a diverse, incredibly creative and imaginative group of artists.

I’ll be there, but exhausted, so someone else will be running around taking pictures while my dog ​​and I court in the shade at the River Reporter booth. Come see us if nothing else to see how I resist the pressure of having too much fun in a very short period of time. I might even be dressed as a clown again. Oh, and if you’re the tired-ole-me type: slow down, you’re going too fast.

For tickets to my show (it’s for a good cause!) Visit

Fun Fact: The etymology (search!) For “alas and alack” is that it is an idiom combining a pair of terms with similar meanings. According to The Google, “The first syllable of every word is like a sigh; “Las” comes from Old French which means weariness and “lack” comes from Middle English which means loss. ”

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