The Honesty Needed in a Healthy Marriage | News, Sports, Jobs

Dear Annie: My husband no longer spends time with me. We have been together for eight years and married for three years.

We were inseparable most of the time, but all of a sudden he doesn’t want me anymore. He says most married people hardly ever go out. He tells me the honeymoon is over.

I have tried everything. At marriage counseling, he puts on a show and tries to make me look bad. He mostly ignores my calls and texts when he leaves, and when he answers it’s very mean.

I don’t know if he is cheating or not. I don’t think I want to be married to him anymore. How can I handle this? Is Filing for a Divorce Reasonable? How are you doing that? -Always uncertain

Dear Unsure: Are you telling the marriage counselor that you think he’s putting on a show and trying to make you look bad?

It’s important to be completely honest during your counseling sessions, otherwise they won’t work. Once you’ve said all of this during your therapy sessions and still want a divorce, you can most definitely apply for one.

Honesty, love, and communication are all pillars of a healthy marriage, and you deserve a man who understands that.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 24 years and we have two grown children who no longer live in our home.

My husband always treated me like I was his maid. I am told to do all the cleaning. I don’t mind, but sometimes a little help is nice. When he’s not upset, he’s the nicest man.

About three years ago he made me quit my job because I had cheated on him. He made me delete all social networks and I couldn’t take individual photos of myself.

We had a lot of disagreements, and one day in our house he hit me. It left me with bruises and a big headache because he hit me on the head. I told her I didn’t love her and wanted a divorce. As soon as I said that he promised that he would never hit me again and that he would be a better person in the future.

He always does that. He slaps me and then promises to never do it again.

And then he starts again, and I fall back into his game – again. After the most recent incident, he bought me a belt and some clothes I wanted to forgive him for.

What should I do to get away from him? I have neither money nor work. How to leave this man? – Trapped by a monster

Dear Trapped: You might feel like you are trapped because 24 years of living with an abusive man is a long time. But you are not trapped. There is help available. There are many local and national hotlines available to help women in your exact situation.

I encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 or chat with someone through their website (

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is another great resource at

If you feel in immediate danger, call 911. Remember, you have the power to leave the cage in which you feel trapped. There are groups and people there.

(Lane is a columnist with Creators Syndicate.)

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