7 things to do if you don’t like your children’s friends Family
Chances are, you hate at least one of your child’s friends, sometimes for no good reason, but this is a situation you need to be extra careful with.
1. Never admit it. This is the fastest way to make them infinitely more appealing to toddlers and teens. If you want to turn a loose friendship into something that looks like Romeo and Juliet in terms of passion and intensity, just say you don’t like someone. Also, never get excited about someone you think is a big influence as this can put the kiss of death on the friendship.
2. Take a long-term view. Children grow older, teens stop rebelling, and parents learn to relax a bit. Friends you aren’t interested in right now can be abandoned overnight, become absolute charmers, or become the always-there friend for your child no matter what. Stay quiet and keep an eye on things, while still being honest enough to admit that someone was wrong.
3. It’s not about you. Sometimes you don’t like a parent or some other way of raising children and that can result in unreasonable dislike of a child. Try to be honest with yourself – does a very confident child make yours look shy, or does a different approach to discipline undermine what you always thought was reasonable?
4. Make friends. It works at any age. Don’t be wacky or over the top – just practical and friendly. When they’re younger, do things with them, like bake cakes, or include them in a little weird activities, like cleaning out a shed and taking the trash to the landfill. Talk to them, listen to them, be interested. Give them a little more responsibility than they are used to, so that coming to you makes them feel bigger. Likewise with adolescents. Treat them like adults and they have a hard time not reacting. Plus, your teens might find that the coolest person in school isn’t quite a rebel with their feet under the kitchen table having a cozy cup of tea.
5. Beware. If your dislike is based on something tangible and harmful, like bullying, overinfluencing, or dangerous behavior, you need to do something, but approach with caution. With a younger child who is being led or bullied by a so-called friend, try empathy and discuss what he can do, especially in his own home, to be a little responsible. Never intervene directly because your child will not accept this and it could mean that he will stop telling you what is bothering him. Instead, focus on building their trust and developing other friendships besides the one that’s troubling you. Regarding peer pressure and drinking, drugs and sex, keep talking, but change the balance slightly, asking if they are worried about friends indulging in and what the result has been. . If this leads to the conversation about their own involvement, don’t blame anyone else; be happy that your teenager has confided in them and focus on helping them.
6. Don’t be cool. It’s your job to worry. The danger of a stranger changes in early adolescence and it can be difficult for them to realize that they are more likely to be tempted by dangerous behavior from a loved one, such as a sibling. a cousin or friend, then chat in time. Pretending not to worry is unnecessary and may inspire attention-seeking behavior. Always be the parent who can be called in in a crisis – whether it’s your child or their friend. You don’t tolerate, but you will help them cope with difficult situations.
7. Applaud their confidence. Remind them every now and then that as they get older, they will expand their circle of friendship and perhaps meet people who will try to influence them, but imply that they will be confident in making their own decisions. If they accuse you of viewing a friend as a bad influence, focus on their own determination and influence instead. Something as simple as “I always thought you were more likely to influence than to be influenced” can give them a different perspective on relationships, without any parental criticism from their friends.